


joining up the dots with the freckles on your cheek

by twoheadlights (fizzfic)



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Freckles, M/M, Teensy Bit of Angst, all sorts of fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-09
Updated: 2016-03-09
Packaged: 2018-05-25 16:59:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,499
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6203491
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fizzfic/pseuds/twoheadlights
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He traces circles on Phil's back now and sees a freckle right in the center. Phil's open window always lets some light in and he's practically basking in the pale moonlight to match his skin. Dan smiles to himself and traces a <i>I <3 Phil</i> across his back, as if it was a secret he didn't want Phil to know even though he did. </p><p>He shuts his eyes, feeling sleepiness finally hit him when Phil suddenly moves next to him and murmurs, “Love you too.”</p><p>-</p><p>(warnings for alcohol, swearing and a mildly sexy thing. mildly. not even there, almost)<br/>(title from little things by one direction)</p>
            </blockquote>





	joining up the dots with the freckles on your cheek

**Author's Note:**

> this fic stems from conversations about dan and phil's occasional freckle friends and the fact that phil said they're his favourite feature about himself.
> 
> as always, thank you sososos much to [charlotte](http://danhowellz.tumblr.com) for beta-ing this. i've added the last part just for you<333

**December, 2009**

“Your fingers are really cold.” Dan giggles into Phil's collarbone.

"Really?” Phil responds by pressing the tips of his fingers slightly harder on Dan's back and running them down it slowly.

" _Phil_ , _nooooo_.” But he's reduced to a fit of giggles and grabs Phil's hand from his back and brings it to his lips. He kisses the back of his hand. “We're never filming in the snow ever again.”

“Shall we sleep?” Phil asks. “You have a train back to Reading in a few hours after all.”

Dan pouts. “Don't remind me.” He yawns and throws his arm around Phil's chest. “‘Night, Phil.”

Phil smiles at him and turns so his back faces Dan. It's bare and clear save a few freckles. There's some on his left shoulder that Dan had kissed earlier and there are a few on his shoulder blades. Dan moves his arm away and lightly touches the soft skin.

Phil is kind of incredible, Dan thinks. He couldn't ask for anyone better in his life and he can't believe what he's just done but he's glad he did it with Phil. He got taken care of, which he isn't used to and he felt how much Phil loves him.

Oh yeah. That did happen. Dan can still see the _I <3 Dan _written in the snow in his mind (to be fair it happened a few hours ago, but he knows he'll always remember it). Dan's immediate response was to grab Phil by the coat and drag him behind a tree so he could kiss him. Phil had laughed and held him tightly as if letting go would make Dan disappear.

He didn't say it back immediately. He had to catch his breath and let the rush of blood in his head slow down before he said anything. And then it was like all he could do was say he loves Phil over and over again.

He traces circles on Phil's back now and sees a freckle right in the center. Phil's open window always lets some light in and he's practically basking in the pale moonlight to match his skin. Dan smiles to himself and traces a _I <3 Phil_ across his back, as if it was a secret he didn't want Phil to know even though he did.

He shuts his eyes, feeling sleepiness finally hit him when Phil suddenly moves next to him and murmurs, “Love you too.”

-

**August, 2010**

Dan’s freckles look a bit like stars. He gets them on the apples of his cheeks and when he laughs they stick out against his glowing skin in the sun.

Phil’s gazing at him playing with his waterproof camera and he can’t quite believe that they’re in _Jamaica_ together when just months ago they had to take train rides to see each other. Well, that wouldn’t be for long since Dan was moving to Manchester to be closer to Phil (or go to university but Dan got accepted into loads of other unis and he picked that one. Phil likes to think he was somewhat part of the equation of that choice).

“Ready to go out?” Dan asks, smiling at him.

-

“Rub sunscreen on my back so it doesn’t bake, please?”

Dan’s already taken his top off and is waving the bottle of cream in Phil’s face. Phil keeps his t-shirt on because he’s so pale he’d get burnt even before he had the chance to apply sunscreen. He squirts some on his palm, rubs both  hands together and places them on Dan’s back. His skin is really tight and he immediately tenses up at the contact but then relaxes a few seconds later. He starts at the top right in the middle and works his way down, pressing a bit like he’s massaging Dan. He covers the little marks, scattered on different parts of his back, coming out because of the sun hitting him. Phil kind of wishes they could stay in Jamaica forever if it means he’ll get to see the freckles every day.

“You’re really tensed, lighten up.” Phil tells him, rubbing his shoulders.

“Feels good,” Dan replies, leaning his head back, his eyes shut. “Keep doing that. Oh _yeah_.”

“You’re obscene.” Phil laughs, pushing him lightly. “ _Stop,_ Dan, we’re outside.”

“Do you feel protective of the noises I make in bed, Phil?” Dan asks, looking back at him and smirking.

Phil knows what he’s doing. But it’ll take more than _that_ to get him flustered. He leans in close to Dan’s ear. “Yes.” He breathes.

Dan gulps. “Oh, um,” he goes beet red and it isn’t because of the sun, “fine then. Alright. Let’s go film.”

-

“ _Phiiiil_ ,” Dan moans. “Stop being such a tease, I hate you.”

Phil smiles against his hot skin. “That’s not what you said—”

“Shut up. Just–Just get on with it, please.”

“Alright, alright.” But get on with it Phil doesn’t. He has full intention of savouring the next few minutes. He kisses down Dan’s chest, stomach until he reaches his waistband which he pulls down swiftly. With his other hand, he twirls his index finger on Dan’s right thigh lightly, making the younger boy squirm even more. He loves the softness of Dan’s skin there. He’s actually really smooth all over his arms and legs, not that much hair on them (Phil teases him about it sometimes, earning glares and losing cuddles because of it). “Your sounds are wonderful.” He tells him looking up.

“Thanks,” Dan replies breathlessly. “Suck my dick.”

“In any other context, I would’ve literally fought you for saying that.” He manages to get Dan’s entire cock into his mouth.

(They cuddle later and Phil tickles Dan senseless because the latter wouldn’t stop stroking his arm in his sleep.) (Dan’s excuse was that, “your arm is just so soft!”) (The struggles of both you and your person having nice and moisturised skin?)

-

**September, 2011**

“They’re like a constellation.” Dan whispers tracing on Phil’s right shoulder with a finger. “Lots of tiny stars just on your skin. You have a bit of the universe on your body.”

Phil yawns. “Going Deep With Dan and Phil.” He says, closing his eyes and wrapping his arm around Dan. Both their shirts are on the floor of their hotel room. Dan had abandoned his own single bed next to Phil’s and hopped in under his sheets. Pj and Chris had gone to bed a little while before them, slightly intoxicated. Phil wouldn’t say he’s drunk; a little bit out of it but it took a lot for him to get tipsy. The other three got proper pissed up though as Dan’s making obvious by being so...about his _shoulder freckles_.

“There’s a video idea.” Dan slurs. “Turn around.”

“What?”

“Don’t question it. Just do it, Phil.”

Phil raises an eyebrow but does as he’s told. He feels Dan’s fingers on his back and giggles. “Cold.” He says.

“I know, stop telling me that.” Dan grumbles. “Okay, okay. Guess what I’m writing.”

He loops his finger all around Phil’s back for a long time. Phil tries to concentrate but really, he just feels a bit ticklish. “Um….wait. Is that a _penis_?”

Dan bursts out laughing. He’s a loud laugher and Phil’s sure the people on the other side of the wall will complain to the hotel about the noise.

“For fuck’s sake,” Phil says. “Go to sleep.”

“No no, look okay, a proper one now. Concentrate.” His finger pushes into Phil’s back again and he writes.

“That’s...D...A...is that your name?”

“Yes, but I’m not done.”

Phil feels really sleepy and he can feel his eyes closing. Still, he tries to play along. “Eats? Dan eats what?”

“It’s not eats!”

“It felt like eats.”

“I’m the one writing, shut up.”

Dan hums softly this time, writing the whole sentence. Phil catches a ‘love’. “Alright.” Dan says finally. “What is it?”

“Dan...loves...something….”

“What?” Dan presses.

“Piss?”

Dan groans. “ _Goodnight_.” He says, turning his back on _Phil’s_ back.

-

**October, 2012**

Sometimes Phil forgets just how young Dan is. Even if he is twenty one and much more mature than he’d been at that same age, Dan is still emotional the way people in their early twenty’s are. It’s what made him quit uni, made him insecure about his YouTube career, about his relationship with Phil.

The last one stings a bit, because they’re _not_ together from what Phil understands but they’re still living together, aren’t they? Moved to a whole other city with him, didn’t he? They say it’s for the BBC and to be closer to the people living in London, but that’s bullshit. They could’ve turned down the radio show offers, moved out and gone their separate ways, no problem. But Dan didn’t want that. It’s hard to tell _what_ he wants exactly, is the thing. He’s so lost; every time Phil comes close, he moves away. But he can’t handle being too far away. Life moves on, as it does. They move to London, because Dan thinks that even if they didn’t work as they wanted to, it doesn’t mean they should throw away their friendship. And Phil had to agree because yeah, they have something there. They were friends before they were...for want of a better word, _boyfriends_. Dan still thinks someone could love Phil right, _more_ but they don’t talk about that anymore.

It’s been a particularly difficult day. They’ve just filmed a baking video for Phil’s channel at about 11PM and it was okay, they laughed a lot and it was fun. The brownies came out well and Dan did devour a few alone. After the camera turned off, he just walked into his room after muttering a, “that was fun.”

It's not like they don't talk off camera because they _do_. But sometimes Dan just...shuts himself away. From what, Phil doesn't know. He could easily walk into his flatmate’s room if he wants. And that's what he does.

He knocks once, twice, and peeks in. A lump in the shape of Dan is under the covers already and his back is turned away. “Come in,” he says, voice meek.

Phil sighs and walks in. The room is dimly lit with the fairy lights on his headboard.

“You tired so soon?” He asks gently.

“Mm. Lie with me.”

Phil gets his jeans off and climbs in, no question. They've done this. It's one of those nights. They both keep their shirts on, and Phil feels the cloth of Dan's sweats under the covers too. He has his back turned to him but Phil's sure that by morning they'll be facing each other.

“Can't sleep.” Dan says. “But I wanted you near tonight.”

“Of course, yeah. Anything I can do to help?” An unnecessary question to be honest, because Phil knows what to do. That's what three years of knowing someone and spending most days with them will do to you. He doesn't wait for Dan's reply and puts his hand under his shirt. Dan sighs and arches his back. Phil just strokes gently. “Is that okay?”

Dan just hums. Phil lets his mind wander, makes himself not think about what’s happening. He can still feel the softness of Dan's skin underneath his — well, not that soft anymore. He can't dig into Dan's back as easily because the skin's gotten tighter. No one would guess by looking at Dan's face, the natural squish of his face, that he was hard anywhere. But he's growing and Phil can see it, experiences it right before his very eyes. He doesn't need to look after Dan. Except in times like this, when it's dark everywhere because Dan has turned all the lights off so no one will see that he's actually not that hard and tough. No one but Phil.

He shuts his eyes, stops stroking because he can hear Dan's steady breaths, meaning he's asleep. He wants to stay, sleep next to him, feel his skin against his own but he can't do that to Dan. So he untangles himself, gets off the bed, leans down near his ear, whispers a, “ _goodnight_ ”, and leaves the room.

-

**June, 2013**

Cannes is beautiful. Dan says that to Phil at least thrice.

“I _know_ ,” Phil tells him. “I can see and even if I couldn't, you keep telling me.”

“Beauty should be appreciated.” Dan replies, frowning. “We're on holiday. _Appreciate_ it.”

“Okay, first of all, we're not exactly on holiday. Second of all,” Phil turns to Dan and touches his cheek which is red and freckly from the sun, “you're beautiful.”

Dan rolls his eyes. “I meant natural beauty, Phil.”

Phil grins. “Nothing unnatural about this.”

They're sat away from the other people with them, the guys from SortedFood (who gave them frogs legs and snails to eat earlier, what the fuck?). The sun isn't as hot as Dan would've liked but maybe it's a good thing—he doesn't want sunstroke again. A story for another time.

“You get _so many_.” Phil notes, staring at him.

“So many _what_?” Dan asks, raising his eyebrow.

“Freckles.” Phil pokes his cheek one, two, three times in different areas. “Look, there's one, and another and another….”

“Well, you have millions on your arms _usually._ ”

“I wonder if they form any pattern,” Phil says thoughtfully.

“No, Phil, that's what people say to sound poetic and pretentious.”

“Nooo, see, I can sort of see something,” Phil insists coming closer to his face, sticking his tongue out in concentration and tracing his finger across Dan's face.

“Phil—Fuck—Stop—”

“See, there's a T, then a W...A...T! Wow. These freckles just got real.”

Dan slaps his hand away, laughing. “Get off me, you fuckwad. Bet your freckles say something like, like…” He thinks for a bit. “Like, _spork_. Because you're not even worthy of a real mean word.”

Happy days.

-

**August, 2014**

“Dan, you can't just tell someone Dubai has less human rights than the Mediterranean.” Phil says, frowning at Dan's phone screen. **[side note: Dan told _me_ that when I was home sick. Cheers mate.]**

“Well, I'm not _lying_.” Dan reasons. “At least I hope not. We should go to Dubai.”

“Mm. Also, you look ridiculous with that hat on.”

“It shields my forehead.”

“But then your freckles won't come out to play. ” Phil pouts.

“That's kind of the point.” Dan laughs.

“This is so mean. What if your freckles _want_ to come out? Stop freckle oppression.”

“Shut up, you fucking weirdo.”

-

**November, 2015**

“Did you know that freckles only become visible after exposure to UV rays?” Dan asks, reading from his phone.

“Yes, I did.” Phil replies, buttoning up his shirt. “Why are you bringing this up now?”

“ _Because.”_ He frowns at his reflection in the backstage bathroom mirror. “I have them now. It's not even daylight. What the fuck.”

“Maybe you're secretly ginger.” Phil says, not really paying attention now. They walk back into the dressing room to put shoes on.

“I love ginger people.” Dan replies, losing the plot of the conversation. “Their hair and their little freckles that actually look good on them.”

“Your freckles look good too.” Phil tells him. “Let's go. We have an afterparty to throw.”

-

Phil has one hand on Dan's shoulders the whole time they walk to their car, waving at the crowd around them with the other. He knows that's calming for Dan, knowing he's there right behind him.

When they're in, he immediately grasps his hand under the jacket Dan throws over them, squeezing his fingers lightly.

“ _That_ just happened.” Dan breathes, wide eyed.

“Yeah.” Phil agrees.

-

There's no elegant way of putting it: Phil is pissed. He's _gone_. Out of it completely. His fault really, for making his cocktail _so much._

“I reckon,” Louise says loudly, “if we had more than three Phil’s, we'd die of alcohol poisoning.”

“Ugh,” Phil groans.

Dan laughs and sips on his own cocktail _The Dan_. His isn't as bad but will still probably make you dizzy after two glasses. Bit weird, that. Having a cocktail that you've made and people actually drinking it. He can't quite get round his drunken head that this whole setup, this _party_ is for him. And Phil. But Phil's too busy gazing at him to appreciate the party.

Louise leaves them after a bit, making them alone for the first time the whole evening. Well, in the darkest corner of the room where no one else is, anyway.

“ _Daaaan,_ ” Phil slurs, stroking his thigh. “This party is _whack_.”

“It's your party.” Dan informs him, his voice a little unsteady from the cocktail and the touching.

“So I can cry if I want to?”

“Your jokes get worse when you're intoxicated but. Yes, you can.”

Phil comes in closer and Dan’s afraid he's going to kiss him so he puts his hand on Phil's chest but he just goes close to his ear and breathes, “hey. You look hot.”

“Thanks.” Dan whispers. They should be careful, but it's alright. They're all friends here. “Clean up quite well yourself.”

“I want to be with you for _ever_ , Dan Howell.”

Dan looks at him properly and smiles. “Me too. Now...let's go.” He takes Phil’s hand and hauls him up, letting go as they walk to the group of familiar looking people, including Martyn and Cornelia. Dan catches Phil's brother's eye and nods towards Phil who's got his hand on Dan's back now. Letting him know that it might be time to leave soon. Martyn smiles at the two of them and nods back like he understands.

They stand and talk for a bit though. Then a photographer comes to them and asks if he could take a group picture. Everyone gets ready and Phil’s hand goes up to the back of Dan's neck. Dan squirms a bit but doesn't let it show.

“One more!” The photographer says as Dan feels Phil's hand trail down to his back steadily but his expression hasn't wavered from his tight smile. Dan feels ticklish and slightly turned on but manages to keep in his giggles in until after the picture is taken. 

“Right, we're leaving.” He says firmly, pulling laughing, happy Phil behind him by the hand.

-

**July, 2016**

Dan and Phil are lying in bed, staring up at the ceiling and it makes Dan feel like he's eighteen again, snuggled up next to Phil in his parents’ house, when they had to savour every moment together. They don't _have_ to do that now but they do. Being on tour lasting two months didn't change them much, if anything, it made them closer, as if that was possible.

But now they're done and have been for a while. They're enjoying a day off doing _nothing_.

“You would make a good dad.” Phil says, out of nowhere.

“So would you.” Dan replies automatically, not stopping to think why he'd say that.

“Yeah, but you would like, the _cool_ one. But one of them would definitely like me more.”

“One of them? We're having two, are we?”

“Mhm. Twins. I have it figured out.”

Dan smiles. Of course he does. They've had the conversation loads.

Phil sits up and gets something from the bedside table. They're stickers. He peels off one and sticks one on Dan's arm.

“Hey!” Dan complains. But he's too lazy to do anything about it so he just slumps back and lets Phil continue. “So twins. I'm saying they should be about four or five? Not too young, I can't deal with crying and toilet training and ten year olds are annoying, they talk too much and think they're cooler than us.”

“You're saying our twins won't turn ten?”

“No, we'll just raise them right.”

It's so natural to talk about all this as if they plan on going through with it all. Dan likes to think that they do.

“They could be ginger, so they'll have something in common with one of us.”

“I'm not ginger! My hair is _brown_.”

“They’d have cute little freckles then too.” Dan continues, ignoring him.

“Ooh, yeah.” Phil's eyes widen, forgetting all about being offended. “I wonder if they'll have identical ones. Also, it's distressing me that the freckles on your arm aren't making the Gemini constellation.”

“That's not what freckles are, you dingus.” Dan laughs. “Stop doing that to my skin, it’ll be a nightmare taking these off.”

Phil shrugs. “Not like you have a lot of hair there anyway. No, don't!” He dodges the pillow Dan throws at him, laughing.

“Come and kiss me.” Dan whines, making grabby hands at him. “Talking about children is making me feel old. I need some teenager-esque making out to feel young again.”

“You're twenty five now, there's no such thing.” Phil teases, but he leans down and kisses Dan on the nose before crashing their lips together.

(Later, when Dan falls asleep, Phil continues sticking stars on his freckles, joining dots, turning him into a constellation.)


End file.
